Batwing Curry

Featuring: Nyle Avery, Audrey Miller

Summary: While trying to sort out the source of the mysterious owls, Nyle and Audrey are confronted by a very strange witch with a (hopefully) helpful suggestion about who to turn to for information.

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NYLE ``...Ew.`` Nyle stated simply, looking thoroughly disgusted. It was definitely time to move as far away from the idea of his brother's sex life as possible. ``Okay, so, say he's alive. Or...not alive, but set this up when he was alive, even though he's dead now. Or somebody is messing with us by replicating his very specific and extraordinarily feminine handwriting which definitely featured hearts prominently. In any case, it means the same thing, right? We look for Ben.`` A slight pause as he considered the notion. ``...That...or we're meant to hook up.`` He reached over the table to grab her butterbeer, pulling it towards him and taking a sip for effect. ``Doubt it.`` Cheeky wink.

AUDREY There weren't stoic words enough in the English language to describe the deadpan he'd been assaulted with, yes, assaulted with, in the wake of his little joke. And - the fact that he was now drinking her butterbeer. For Merlin's sakes, man. Get your own. And your own damned coat, for that matter. There was something decidedly uncomfortable about the image of him in that particular green coat. "Something tells me that was most-definitely not his intention," Audrey replied... and, finally, the faintest of grins softened her features (her deadpan giving way to some humor, at last). She shifted to cast another glance over at the door, still expecting another owl. Having them meet each other at the Hog's Head for the sake of having them convene just wasn't making any sense to her. If Nick *was* responsible - and she was beginning to have her doubts - she just couldn't imagine why he'd be so cryptic about it all. Suddenly, the shifty-looking witch was in front of her .. blocking her view of the door. She had appeared so suddenly, it seemed, Audrey actually emitted a sharp gasp (startled). The witch smiled broadly, brown teeth as ghastly as ever. "Elda can tell you all," croaked the hag. "Can give you the answers you seek. Elda will set you right," said the witch, whose scabby hands were suddenly in Nyle's hair... smoothing through it in some odd, random sort of scalp massage-gone-wrong. Gnom.

NYLE In that moment, Nyle looked as though he would have preferred to be anywhere at all in the world aside from in that spot, with Elda's hands running through his admittedly lovely hair. He let out an almost unintentional sound of utter discomfort, looking to Audrey with a glimpse of absolute terror in his eyes. ``Could...could Elda give us the answers we seek -without- touching me, maybe?`` He squeezed his eyes closed, like a child receiving his first haircut.

AUDREY "Oh, I am not Elda, my sweet little succulent," crooned the witch. She grabbed his face with both hands, squeezing his cheeks like the most-aggressive grandmother to have ever shot herself up with performance-enhancing drugs. Audrey clapped a hand over her mouth. She was far too busy trying not to absolutely keel over laughing and falling out of her chair to actually do anything to help you right now Nyle, sorry. "You will find Elda in Knockturn Alley, where she will tell you all you desire to know! Sweet boy. Sweet, sweet boy! I could eat you up. I could eat you!" She was actually gnashing her teeth at him, at this point.

NYLE The youngest Avery boy looked a sight, with his face all scrunched up into the surprisingly strong hands of some horrendous old witch, his eyes wide with equal parts shock and terror. His voice was muffled by the way his mouth had been puckered up like a fish's. ``Oh, trust me, you wouldn't want to do that. I'm all skin and bones.`` He forced a laugh, which sounded like something you might hear in one of those hostage videos where they have to pretend that they're being treated well. Though his face was being held in place, he shot a glance over to Audrey. ``Well, it sounds like we should really be getting over to Elda's place now. Right now. But it's been a true pleasure to meet you and I can promise I will never, ever, ever forget it.`` He attempted a shaky smile, though he was blinking S.O.S. in Morse code.

AUDREY "I like batwings in my curry!" exclaimed the witch, who suddenly released Nyle from the ridiculous death-grip of her inexplicable affection. "They are delicious!" she cried, triumphant, as she stepped back away from them and, in one swift motion, retrieved an item from her sleeve and threw it upon the ground at her feet, disappearing into a puff of purple smoke. Audrey, at this point, had tears streaming down her face. "WHAT WAS THAT!" She kept saying, over and over, not at all a question. "What was that, what was that!" She fell out of her chair, laughing, onto the dirt floor of the Hog's Head Inn. She couldn't bring herself to look at Nyle, out of fear she might actually wet herself.

NYLE Nyle sat there, staring blankly at the space where the witch had been standing, like a soldier with PTSD. It was a long time before he spoke, and when he did, it was in a surprisingly calm, easy tone. ``...No. No, that was...that was silly.`` He turned, looking down at the Miller girl currently laughing hysterically on the floor. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it without a word. Finally, he was able to muster up the only possible explanation his mind would allow. ``...Did I have a stroke just now? Because I'm not sure I believe...`` He motioned frantically with both hands towards where the insane old woman had been. ``...THAT...just happened.``

AUDREY Audrey couldn't respond right away. It was going to take her a few minutes to gain control of herself again. She looked up at him with watery eyes, her features still contorted with laughter, unable to speak -- and, so, she simply shook her head and lowered her gaze back down to the floor beneath her. Her shoulders shook with the exorcism of her last bits of laughter. When, finally, she was able to regain composure, she moved to peel herself up off the ground, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. "We'd better go find Elda--" she barely managed to get out the last syllable of the woman's name, because as soon as she tried to say the name 'Elda', she was overcome with laughter again. Audrey buried her face in her hands, shaking her head again and mouthing the word 'sorry' as she dropped her hands back at her sides and made fists to try and regain control once more. Pursing her lips, she opened her eyes back on Nyle. "You alright, there?"

NYLE He had seemed fairly relieved when Audrey had gained her composure. Because laughing at what just happened only lent credence to the idea that it had -actually- happened. So, of course, he was absolutely shattered when she fell right back into hysterics for a moment. ``Okay. I mean, come on...`` He glanced aside, waiting 'patiently' for her to finish her little fit. When she finally regained control and asked about him, he scoffed. ``I'm...fine. This is fine. An insane crone just said she wanted to eat me up like batwing curry. ...I can't believe I just said that sentence out loud. For crying out...let's just...go to Knockturn Alley and find Elda already, okay?``

AUDREY It was truly a struggle not to continue laughing, especially in the wake of his reaction to everything. For what it was worth, however, the wonky crone's antics had left our poor Nyle in a more-endearing light. Audrey grinned wryly over at him with a side-glance, drawing on her navy overcoat and heading the way across the inn towards the fireplace. If they were to head toward Knockturn Alley, which was honestly not the safest place to be at this time of night (and in a time that held quite so much political unrest), they'd first have to floo themselves over to Diagon Alley. It would most-certainly be safer than using the floo network to transport themselves directly into Knockturn. Audrey was first to collect a fist-full of powder from the floo-tin on the mantel. "Diagon Alley," she proclaimed easily, dropping the powder at her feet and dissolving from view in a rush of bright blue flame. She stepped out of the fireplace on the other side, right into the laughter and bustle of a busy eve at the Leaky Cauldron.